heewwrrrragghhhh

You know that moment. That feeling. The one you get when you think of the perfect reply.  That witty yet cutting rejoinder that puts the other person in their place.  Or those almost poetic words that turn the object of your desire into putty in your hands.  Or that pithy remark that’s bound to impress everyone in the room, to make them look at you anew,  eyes filled with admiration and perhaps even a little envy. You know that moment when the right words are just there, magically.  In your head. At your disposal. The words that can turn any situation to your advantage.
You know that moment.
It happens anywhere between three hours and eighteen months after the time to say those words has been and gone. Lost forever. And you just standing there. Mouth gaping. With spinach stuck to your teeth.  

One afternoon, I was flicking through the TV channels and stopped on an Oprah Winfrey clipshow, featuring highlights from years of celebrity interviews. They showed an amusing moment from sometime in the early 80’s where she introduced her star guest, Sylvester Stallone, with the words: “I’m here with Sly Stone,” The audience laughs, its a genuine slip, but Oprah’s a pro, she quickly corrects herself eliciting yet more laughter. It’s a cute moment between Oprah and her audience and Stallone’s kind of left out of it, with nothing else to do but sit there and chuckle in a good natured fashion.  
Now I may be wrong, but I’d guess that sometime after he left the studio Stallone had one of those:  “when she said that what I should’ve said was…” thoughts, that we all get from time to time. The only difference is that Stallone is a Hollywood star and he can insist, contractually, that the moment is re-enacted. Only this time he gets the chance to look just as sharp as a tack and as cool as a cucumber, because the next clip they showed was from a few years later, and Oprah is about to interview the stars of Tango & Cash. TV professional that she is, I don’t think she’d have made the same error twice, but sure enough she says: “I’m here with Kurt Russell & Sly Stone.” The audience laughs, Oprah adopts an ‘Oops! Aren’t I a scatterbrain’ expression, and the camera cuts straight to Stallone who utters the perfect response, the timeless words: “Boom acka lacka lacka! Boom acka lacka!”

Now, if you don’t know why that was just the perfect thing to say run this Youtube clip, and make sure you’re paying attention around the 7:05 mark.

Here’s a unique tribute to the magic of Sly.

And here’s the best quality clip I could find of this summer’s shows – Sly Stone is 64. I advise caution .

let a man come in and do the popcorn

In Britain we knew the songs about these dances but we had no clue what the actual dances looked like. Now if only someone would show me how to do the Shing-a-ling.

show & tell

“What have you brought for show and tell today James?” 

“I’ve brought Clyde Stubblefield, the original Funky Drummer, Miss!” 

How cool is that?